British Sitcom

Our final stop before arriving in Israel was a quick two days in the U.K. One day we decided to head out to Windsor with the family (and two friends from America, Megan and Danna). We had a great time in Windsor and the boys were energetic and interested all day! On the way I witnessed a classic British scene that I just have to share with you.

This story works best when you hear the dialogue with thick British accent so do your best to imagine it.

We were sitting in a mostly empty Charter bus for a short ride to Windsor. In front of me sat an elderly couple with gray hair, glasses, and wearing typical English attire, somewhat formal looking. Between the two of them they had one whole rows of seats, two on each side of the aisle, and they each occupied the opposite window seat so there was a decent amount of space between them. As we traveled, the husband sat turned towards the window and was fully engaged in reading the morning newspaper. His wife sat staring straight ahead and had a bothered expression on her face.

As our journey neared the end, she tried to get his attention because she wanted the plastic bag that sat in the chair next to him. He failed to acknowledge that she was there so she hit him with her cane and this is where I bring you into the story.

"Harold... Harold, give me the bag. "

"What do you want (you old hag)?" I actually added the "old hag" part because I think it makes the story better.

"The bag Harold, give me the bag".

Harold tosses the bag over to her and turns back to read the paper while mumbling to himself.

Ali proceeds to vomit into the bag. (I'm not sure what her name is but the only British woman I really know is named Ali).

Harold looks at his wife vomiting and then expresses his disgust with her behavior with another mumble that I regrettably was unable to hear. Harold turns back to his paper as Ali proceeds to vomit several times. Our bus comes to its final stop and once again Ali calls out to her husband.

"Harold. Harold, give me your hanky".

Harold pulls his handkerchief from his pocket and tosses it to his wife as she completes her vomiting. Ali wipes her mouth and Harold says, "You keep the hanky, I don't want it anymore".

Ali counters, “I will keep the hanky, but you can keep your plastic bag”. Ali then got up and tossed her bag of vomit to her husband and stormed off the bus.
Okay that last line is not true but the Ali I know would have thrown the bag of vomit at her husband if he said that. Plus, at this time the bus was stopped and everyone was scurrying off the bus to avoid engaging in any sympathy vomiting so I didn’t actually see the end of the scene.

And that was our trip to Windsor. Cheers.